RichMD--Only The Ordinary Happens

True Bra.

the-adequate-gatsby:

stultifyandstupefy:

derpes:

And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”

And Abraham replied, “What.”

God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.

And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”

To which they responded, “Gay.” 

(via sfaff)

thesickestjokes:

I left 3 notes scattered around the house earlier for my girlfriend.
They said “Will”, “you” and “me”.
That’ll keep her busy whilst I watch sports.

(via sfaff)

• january: okay yeah man new year new me fresh starts all around i'm totally not gonna waste this year like i've done every other year of my life so far
• february: well okay that went quickly but february will be my month i will get shit done
• march: lol wtf wasn't it christmas yesterday
• april: awww little baby birdies and shit how cute but i've still done absolutely fuck all
• may: mAY THE FOURTH BE WITH YOU AH AHA HHAHAHHA AHHAHA aw shit i missed april fool's day how the fuck did that happen
• june: since when is it summer
• july: blogging blogging blogging blogging blogging sleeping eating blogging
• august: i need to start getting shit done where has the summer gone omg
• september: take me back to the fucking summer
• october: HALLOFUCKINWEEN MOTHERFUCKERS
• november: everything in nature's dying hmm bit of a bummer
• december: chrISTMAS FUCK YEAH OMG YAY. OMG IT'S ALMOST NEXT YEAR. NEXT YEAR, THAT IS THE YEAR I WILL GET SHIT DONE. I CAN FEEL IT.